Archive for the ‘ruminations’ Category

if you see something, say something!
December 8, 2010


Who is the copywriter for this ad?  I want to slap you.  I also want to slap your copy editor.  And the people who commissioned this ad to be on the train this morning.  YOU CANNOT HAVE BOTH “up to” and “or more”!  Cannot!

You can either have “up to” 30% or “more than” 30%.  Ugh.


gaybies costume!
September 12, 2010

You know all the Park Slope mommies and the San Francisco daddies will be having “their little monsters” dressed as baby Lady Gaga this Halloween…

…I wonder if I could put this on one of my cats.

on: the franzen feud
September 3, 2010

Last week, my Twitter feed was inundated with Jennifer Weiner and Jodi Picoult’s complaining about the coverage Jonathan Franzen’s “Freedom” has gotten in the New York Times Book Review. They have been interviewed by the Huffington Post and written about all over the blogosphere. Some people call them whiney. I call them right.

As a writer (or someone trying to be a writer), I was crushed when one of the professors at my MFA program told me, “The literary world is ruled by men.” He also told me, “Nobody wants to read about lesbian protagonists in anything but erotica.” This came from a gay man who had his ass kicked all throughout the 80’s for writing gay-themed things. I was floored. I probably Tweeted about how much of an asshole he was, too. And then I forgot about it. (Except when someone told me about his three-million dollar book deal. Then I rehashed the entire conversation and made it a point to one-day get back at him.)

The point is: this entire Franzen feud is proving him right. There are plenty of women who write well and never get the type of literary publicity that Franzen is getting. Jennifer Weiner and Jodi Picoult have, between the two of them, twenty-four best-sellers. But they are not satisfied. They want to be recognized as important to people who decide what books are important. They don’t even want the sort of acclaim that Franzen is getting; they just want to be taken seriously.

This whole debate doesn’t even begin to cover those who are deemed as important by the literary snobs, but aren’t widely read. Lorrie Moore? Mary Gaitskill? Lydia Davis? They all have well-acclaimed novels, and not one of them is going to achieve the hype that Franzen is receiving. Because they’re women? That is absurd, especially since women comprise most of the population’s readership… for any genre! Shelley Jackson and Lynne Tillman will never get the type of recognition that David Foster Wallace has gotten because they are women.

Commercial fiction has a huge readership, and we should thank what these women (Weiner and Picoult) have done for reading, in general. Just because the readership is huge does not and should not discredit the writer, (unless it’s Stephanie Meyer, but that’s an entirely different beast… or vampire?)

the dumbest quote i’ve ever read…
July 14, 2010

If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy.

I couldn’t even find the source, but if I ever do, I’d write to them and say: shut up, already.

June 25, 2010

Remember when you were little and your mom was taking you to your new friend’s house, and when she started to get lost or was trying to read the numbers on the mailboxes, she would slow down and turn the music down?


I was whipping around in my mom’s new Lexus and as I slowed down on a turn, Lil Wayne started to whisper.  It… was… awesome, but at the same time, I thought that it is maybe only perpetuating a stupid motherism that needs not exist.

Harvard ’14?
June 8, 2010

Let this series of blog posts be called “chronicles of a sociopathic ex-roommate.”

Just did a little test run… how odd is it that ANYONE can be a student at ANY SCHOOL on Facebook without joining the network?  Getting your PhD at Columbia you say?  Why don’t you email me from that school address you must have…


February 19, 2010

I would like to start with saying I have always hated facial hair, and especially beards, because I feel like people with beards are hiding something.  Whether it’s a pointy chin, or a lot of secrets, I do not know… but what’s with hipster dudes and beards?  Honestly.  Is it laziness?  Is it to match the flannel-now-plaid-but-I-still-wanna-look-like-an-ironic-lumberjack thing?  I really, truly don’t get it.  I think they’re gross, and probably really scratchy and uncomfortable to those without beards who kiss these men with beads.

I’m not the only one. And the trend is already 4 years old, now.  Shouldn’t they find something better to hide behind?  Like… maybe… a sweet tiger mask?

February 1, 2010

Just in case you were wondering, because I know I was… baby corn is really just baby corn.

what’d i say?
February 1, 2010

Seriously.  WTF is wrong with kids today?  Who makes up these Facebook pages?!

today’s a palindrome
January 2, 2010