Dear New York Summer,

We’re through.

I fucking hate you.  I hate the way you smell below 8th Street.  I hate the way I am dripping sweat, only after walking a block and a half.  I hate the way there is no central air in any of your apartments because they’re fucking old and disgusting, unless located in the outskirts of next-to-nowhere.  I hate how your fucking old, disgusting apartments, gather dust faster than my old OCD roommate’s faggoty feather duster.  I hate how I only have two weeks to find a new insanely expensive apartment during the hot, sweaty summer because that’s just how your bullshit real estate works. I hate how the places here look like the run-down “ghetto areas” in any other city.  I hate how my feet are black after walking around in flip flops, while looking for said apartment, because your streets are disgusting and filled with dust and sweat and old dog piss.  I hate having to shower twice, sometimes three times a day because I have more dried salty sweat on my back than a cheap hooker.

I can’t wait to leave your pathetic ass.  Whoever decided you were the best city in the world was a goddamn liar and I want to shoot them in the groin.




4 Responses

  1. I legit just LOL’d hardcore while reading that.

  2. Sara
    Darling, Now , now, is that any way to talk?? Please, I have raised you way better than that. NYC is the best , and you owe NYC an apology! I can see the people crying in the streets now. I am sure you can find many other ways to describe the city that never sleeps. C’mon, you the master of writing, use your delightful imagination, and do better than using “F***”all over the place, darling.
    I love you !
    congrats on finding an apt….. Now look for that job, let the c=school know you are BACK>>>>>
    Love, MOM

  3. New York City is like vodka. Some people can drink it straight. But the rest of us might need to water it down. Being in New York City is like staring at the sun without shades. It’s way too intense for me!

    ..Quote from a blog I read. I thought of you fondly.

    I hope you’re doing really well… miss you A LOT.

  4. Ahahahahaha, your mom chided you on your blog.

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