semantics!

(This is taken from my personal journal – written 2 years ago) –

“You can come over if you want.” (obligation) vs. “I want you to come over.” (projected emotion)
“I did a bad thing.” (guilt) vs. “I am a bad person.” (shame)

From my Social Psychology book:
Many people count on guilt to push their loved ones to behave properly. Others try to help things along a bit. Guilt is one emotion that people actively try to make others feel . Some people become quite skilled at knowing what to say to make someone else feel guilty. As always, though, the guilt depends on the relationship, and a stranger may have a hard time making you feel guilty. The essence of most guilt-inducing strategies is “See how you are hurting me.” If you do not care about that person, you may not mind hurting him or her. In contrast, if the person is someone you love and care about, you will usually change your behavior to avoid hurting them.

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2 Responses

  1. hm i think the first one is about me. haha

  2. hahaha, it might be. ;)

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