There are millions of people that seem to not have a problem talking about themselves in the 3rd person, and this is due to Facebook status messages. I’m thankful that this hasn’t yet spilled over into real life like “LOLSpeak” has, but I have been noticing a certain trend in people’s status updates. I thought that perhaps it was just my friends, but I’ve found that the same 5 statuses (stati?) can be found over any grouping of people.
To prove this, I did a search of other Sara’s in the New York, NY network. First, there is the “real status.” Some people actually think others care about what they are doing.
Example: “Sara is researching gay TV shows! Really!” Cool, Sara! Are you outing yourself, or are you looking to become a fag hag?! See also: “Sara is cold.” Um… k?
Next, is the douche bag on your friends list that Seems To Find It Necessary To Write Every Word Starting With A Capital Letter. Example: Sara is Excited To See Her Beau Today! I Hate You So Much! I hope your boyfriend dumps you.
There is also the type of person that has weird evasive statuses that are just waiting for a, “What is wrong with you?” or “What’s with your FB status?” instant message. Example: Sara is really fucked up and doesn’t even want to finish this. Okay? So don’t finish it. Whatever “it” is. Is “it” life? If you really wanted to die, you wouldn’t announce it via Facebook status feed. Just sayin’. Save that shit for your LiveJournal.
Perhaps almost worse than The Person That Writes Like This is the person that refuses to be grammatically correct in a field that sort of tries to force them to do so. Example: Sara who invented homework in the summer because i want to kill them. WTF does that even mean? Are you trying to ask a question? Ugh.
My personal favorite is the kind of status message that makes clever song lyric references. Example: Sara is not going to write you a love song because you ask for it. (Referencing Bareilles’ “Love Song”). Also in this category, fall most pop culture references.
Am I missing any? I think this spread of Saras covered it… But more to come if/as I find them.
I’m not sure why this in the technology section of wordpress, but I found it amusing and very true.
i hate updating my status on my phone because it makes every word start with a capital letter!
As I am completely guilty of this, I would also like to point out the traveling status such as “Sara is going to Daytona Beach this weekend” or “Sara is in Paris, eating cheese.”
What do you think?
You talk about eating cheese a lot, Kelly. Hahahaha <3
COME TO NEW YORK AND EAT CHEESE-CAKE.
(and I’ve never been to Daytona…)
I’m always in a dilemma as to whether I should write “he” or “I”…writing in the first person is grammatically incorrect, but referring to myself in the third is just awkward.
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