Let’s Discuss The L Word!

So, last week’s post was a little sub-par because I was tired and too excited about the Bette-Tina debacle to write anything else, so a mini-recap of last week involves: Alice going to a closeted gay party and taking an illegal picture of gay basketball players, which will inevitably end in a law suit. There is a new lesbian club in LA that may pose as a threat to Kit’s coffee shop. Aaaaand Shane breaks her celibacy with a scandalous threesome. Please wait for my surprised face.

***

So we open the new episode with the cast of Lez Girls introducing themselves around the table. This is fun and exciting and deliciously postmodern without being obnoxious still. And I cannot wait to see who ends up having an affair with Nikki Stevens (the girl playing Jenny in the movie.) She’s so the new Carmen. If Carmen were vapid and said “a-hole” about five times too many in one scene.

Hey awkwardness between Bette and Tina!

“It’s like that game – who would play you in a movie? But real life!” Truth. Let’s play that game. And agree that Julia Stiles would play me.

Last week, the owners of SheBar said they wouldn’t be any sort of competition to The Planet, but clearly… they lied and are now not only a nightclub/bar but a drive-thru coffee shop/cafe? Bitches.

Anyway, is that… a Kabbalah string I spy on Shane’s neck? And she is making pot brownies? She is SOOOOOO teh Jew! YES!

Let’s discuss Adele. Max catches her in an inconsistent moment. And I’m totally going to have to back him/her up with that – Orlando lesbians are the epitome of inconsistent. But on another note – with them talking about how cute Adele is, in a nerdy way… I am smelling a makeover. A makeover a la She’s All That. They’re totally going to work the same wonders on her that they did on Rachel Leigh Cook.

Shane sex scene. Pornographic blonde. Etc. Etc. Etc. She tried to avoid sleeping with a third of the threesome with the classy line, “We can all bring sexy back together.” HAHAHAHAHAHA, LOVES IT!!! And then she tries to back out of said sex scene. Well. A for effort? And NC-17 for nudity and lesbian sex on a white leather couch! O.M.G.

Here’s a surprise: Alice’s podcast is on the news. Go Alice, go! I have a feeling there will be repercussions between her and Tasha.

Here’s another surprise in the making: Adele is going to single-handedly ruin the production of Lez Girls and potentially the entire show and cast and world and UCF lesbians are, for sure, the devil. Fkn con artist.

Jenny is annoying. And progressing into diva-dom more quickly than a rabbit on speed. And Bette / Jodi… still irritating and gross.

“Gay for pay.” I feel like that actress ripped that line off of some underground gay porn website featuring fraternity fellas.

I know a way for Bette to subvert the awkwardness between her and Tina. One word (maybe two): flashdance. Flash dance! Or maybe just speaking with the girl playing her character in the movie and then get upset that she isn’t black enough. That’ll make things better. WAS MARY FUCKING POPPINS NOT AVAILABLE?! Oh my God I love it! The rest of the party looked like a lot of fun. It looked like a lot of the parties I had with my friends.

Shane messed with the wrong bitch, bitch. And Miss SheBar is going to ruin her. I can’t wait to see how that actually pans out.

Nikki and Jenny in the bathroom. Who else saw THAT coming? I wonder how this is going to affect the production of the film (pending that Adele doesn’t sabotage the whole thing.)

Again, at the end, Bette should be flash-dancing to ease the pain of seeing Tina sleeping on her couch. Props to Jodi though, for letting her spend the night.

Next week looks like it’s full of delicious drama. Can’t wait. I leave this post with one important question: what if the brownies were gay? :)