New News.

- Jamie Lynn Spears’ boyfriend Casey broke up with her and is demanding a paternity test. There are rumors about JLS’ producer (around 20 years her senior) being the actual father. Nickelodeon is full-o-scandal! I miss the days of “Doug.”

- Neither Avril Lavigne or Pamela Anderson are pregnant, despite recent rumors. But they both are Canadian, and that’s funny, right?

- Another celebrity only served a minuscule percentage of their jail sentence this week. Congratulations, Michelle Rodriguez for skirting around the legal system! Oh, and sweet mug shot, Shell…

- Both Taylor Hicks and Katherine McPhee were recently dropped from their labels. Season 5 was way bland, anyway. Simon Cowell promises “American Idol” to be better this season. But really, what’s better than Blake Lewis? Nothing. Mmmm… Blake.

- Finally …blah blah blah, Britney is crazy and maybe in NYC and maybe in Mexico and dating a paparazzi who is actually married and selling nude pictures of her to tabloids in England, and speaking of England, she is using an English accent and she is nuts and blah. Blah. Blah.