On the 12th day of Christmas, Hollywood gave to me…
12 Amy’s snorting,
11 Pratt’s-a-pricking,
10 Love’s-a-crying,
9 Paris ‘ pole dancing
8 Lindsay’s rehabbing,
7 Hayden’s swimming,
6 Jolie-Pitt’s adopting,
5 Spices lip syncing,
4 Anderson marriages
(divorces?),
3 Simpsons dating,
2 Spears family train-wrecks,
and a writer’s strike all over the country.
11 Pratt’s-a-pricking,
10 Love’s-a-crying,
9 Paris ‘ pole dancing
8 Lindsay’s rehabbing,
7 Hayden’s swimming,
6 Jolie-Pitt’s adopting,
5 Spices lip syncing,
4 Anderson marriages
(divorces?),
3 Simpsons dating,
2 Spears family train-wrecks,
and a writer’s strike all over the country.
Merry Christmas from your favorite Jew. 
