The Hills are alive with the sound of drama…

So, last week on the show, we had an evil she-Pratt and the staggering discovery that Justin-Bobby is on a serious amount of drugs, which almost made his behavior for the last few months acceptable. Almost. He’s gone for now and

This week, we discovered the color of LC’s eyes. “Blue with yellow in the center.” And found that Halloween in Beverly Hills is about… 2 months delayed from the real world. The pumpkin they had looked albino. Is EVERYTHING white in LA? Anyhow, the party looked like fun… and dare I say, like a normal 20-something’s party! LC is drinking cheap beer and playing beer bong. Unbelievable! The only thing not 20-something’s normal about the party: it was miraculously spotless the next morning.

Other Halloween party observations:

• Did they only show Audrina’s sister for .5 seconds because we would find that she is way hotter?
• Also, was it funny that all of the bugs were congregating in the same corner?
• NEXT WEEK! THE HILLS: LAUREN LOOKS BACK… looks so good. I can’t wait.

Diabolical: Heidi telling Stephanie about her potentially cold feet (which are not half as cold as my hands - I’m totally blogging with gloves on.) Duh she’d tell Spencer.
Fake or real?: Corey’s accent. He laces his lines with things like “proper,” but I just can’t tell. Either way, he is way cute and way better than JB.
Annoying: the Lauren and Brody debacle. We know they aren’t really dating. We know he is spreading his seed throughout the land. Where is Stephen? Bring him back, damnit!

Et cetera:

• Lo is soso cute. Where has she been recently? I want her to be my BFF and say things like, “Catch 22, love.”
• Brody: clean-shaven or scruffy? I vote for the latter. At least with this episode, they didn’t have the hair inconsistency issue like they did with Whitney’s trainer.
• Best lines of the evening: “He returned your calls, which Justin didn’t. He likes to kiss, which Justin didn’t. He bathes, which Justin didn’t. Upgrade!”
• Britney Canada Whore isn’t getting a call any time soon. What about the other 900 girls in your phone, Brody? (Here, I will refrain from making a Britney _____ Whore joke.)

Is it just me, or does Spencer address things like a passive-aggressive girl? Also: are there bugs in their living room? Flying around? Or are my eyes just sort of allergic to Speidi scenes? “If you leave, don’t come back!” …geez, I wish that were a real threat, Heidi. We’ll see what happens next week, I guess. I am excited for Sunday’s showing of the LC movie. I sort of miss the LC/Kristen/Stephen drama. It was so… high school.

After The Hills was My Super Sweet 16. The girl’s theme is like… drag queen/midgets/gaynes? I don’t even know. She got a zebra/horse instead of a car. Anyway, I just wanted to register a complaint: WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HOLD THE MICROPHONES SO CLOSE TO SCREAMING GIRLS?!?!?!?! MTV, please cease and desist.