The Hills are alive with the sound of drama…

…before the show even starts! “Sometimes when you are finally done fighting, the fight comes to you.” What a prologue! So, on the show… we have a “she-Pratt.” That sounds like a rare breed of Raptor, to me. Probably a rare manicured form. With a smaller brain. And might I note - I never though it was going to be scarier than it already was, but now there are Pratt-triplets. (Heidi included.) Stephanie is just as retarded with the ideas as Spencer. She wants to become ordained online to marry them. Oy vey. It scares me that… that is an actual possibility.

Brody is back! I guess everyone has made the astute observation that he’d been missing. And if by “la-la land,” Audrina is referring to Keeping Up With the Kardashians, then yes — that is where Brody has been. Too bad Audrina can’t make the same amazing observations about her boyfriend — and the fact that he is a total skeezoid loser that needs the boot, pronto.

And then when he is confronted, he doesn’t even care. Probably because he’s wasted, per usual. Their conversation made me want to throw something at the screen. And when “Almost Lover” by A Fine Frenzy started playing, I wanted to throw my other shoe. Because that song reminds me of my retarded ex from the hills. However, all shoes were kept under control because the television is like a 50 inch plasma that is better left untouched. The end made me happy, even though it made Audrina sad. I have a feeling, though… that this is not the last of Justin Bobby. Sadly.

Side note: did anyone notice that Whitney was completely not present in this episode at all? I guess MTV heard the cries of the crowd and took her plot line out.

Later edit: according to Jezebel, Whitney is actually getting the boot. And in her place is fellow USC-er Jenna Goldsmith. Interestinger and interestinger.