Nip/Tuck was okay this week.

So Dawn walks in with a mangled face and says, “I was attacked by a giant wedged-tailed eagle in Calgary. She thought I was poaching her man-eagle.” Really? Come on now. I am, however, looking forward to her mouth being sewn shut for two weeks.

Cut to a bedroom romp. “I love you’s” followed by: “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it just because I did.” …are the most awkward things ever. But then, followed by Peanut M&M’s. What in the hell is up with the transitions on this show?

I don’t watch the surgeries. Blood, fake or not — skeezes me out. But I do enjoy hearing Frank Sinatra.

Okay, Annie is exactly the problem with children today. Of course she moves to L.A. and goes anorexy-lexy. Liposuction at age… 11? What? I’ll say it now and I’ll say it again - screw Los Angeles and all of its disgustingly fake and superficial inhabitants. Eden is a horrible influence and I really wish she would be killed off already. “Thinspiration.” All of those pro-ana message boards must be hootin’ and hollerin’. I love how Olivia turned it all back around on Sean — blaming his profession. And misogyny. I feel so badly for him. It’s so hard being in a situation that everyone around you is trying to make you sound insane, when you are the only non-crazy person.

So. I have a lot of friends that are into a lot of bizarre things, sexually. But NEVER have I heard of a anyone with a backwards necrophilia fetish. Tranquilizers? Bathtubs full of ice? I can’t believe Christian is actually going to go through with that. I do believe that he is going to try to seduce the nun, though. His surgery briefings are so sexual and unprofessional.

One question: ass bandits? (Brown is the new black?!?!?!) …okay, that question was overturned because Dawn was just hit by a 300 pound light on the set of “Hearts n’ Scalpels.” See? Only bad things happen when that show is mentioned. But she found love. And I love the diatribe that Freddie went off on defending his sexuality.

• Favorite line of the episode: “What are ya, 90?! Jesus! Text message!”
• Back to hypothermia-backwards-necrophilia woman: Christian didn’t do the deed! But the grace of God as lent to him by the nun with large breasts, saved her life.
• Was it really necessary to have “Shake That Ass” playing when he was getting the surgery?
• Also: Freddie is gay. Gay. He LIKED the ass bandit.
• Sean vs. Sean and ball removal? What? AND MARRIAGE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? He’s losing it. Totally and completely. The creepy piano music resonating throughout the episode was not helping, either.
• And, finally - once again, people in Los Angeles in church. Reason #3 as to why SoCal was on fire a few weeks ago. Christian Troy.

I think this is my last post about this show. It’s just not as fun to write about as The Hills, Gossip Girl, or Grey’s Anatomy…